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NYC Marathon and Relationships: One Partners Trains and One Does Everything Else

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For couples with children, the logistics of marathon training can be even more complicated.

Jesse Davis, 36, who works at a climate tech company and lives on the Upper West Side, has been taking on more child care duties (his children are three and 18 months), while his wife trains for the New York City Marathon. “It’s a time commitment. She is basically working out five days a week and does these really long runs on Saturday mornings,” he said.

But he feels it’s worth it. “She set this personal goal, and I think it’s important for adults to have goals and push their bodies and brains to the limit so I’m all for it,” he said.

He also said his wife makes a point to take the children after she gets back from her runs. “Then I go and have my time,” he said. “She definitely makes up for it.”

Tenley Shirley, 34, who works in marketing and lives in Westchester, has two children, both under the age of three. So when her husband told her he was going to try and qualify for the Boston Marathon, a task which requires running other races under a certain time, her first thought was, “What is going to be the impact on me and my family, and how will we adjust?’” she said.

In order to not impose on his family, Ms. Shirley’s husband decided to wake up at 5 a.m. on weekdays, when he does his shorter runs, to get them in before the children wake up. On weekends, when he has to do a long run, he gets up as early as 3:30 or 4 a.m. “It’s pitch black at that time, so he goes to the local high school and runs until the sun rises, and it’s bright enough to run on the street,” she said.

She’s grateful that her husband has chosen to do that, but it still takes another toll on their lives. “He is in bed by 8 p.m., asleep because he’s exhausted,” she said.

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