‘Modern Love Podcast’: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?


Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna herself.

Growing up as a first-generation Chinese American, Deanna resented the way some men, specifically white men, looked down on her. She refused to be anyone’s fetish. By the time she arrived in Shanghai, she had sworn off dating white men all together.

But then, Deanna met a man: an older, successful white man, who offered to provide for her as she pursued her dreams. Was Deanna betraying herself, once she started falling in love with him?

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa and Hans Buetow. The show is edited by Jen Poyant, our executive producer, and Anabel Bacon. The show is mixed by Sophia Lanman and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Dan Powell, Pat McCusker, Diane Wong and Rowan Niemisto. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.

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Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”


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